INTRODUCTION
Communication is the activity of
conveying information. Communication has been
derived from the Latin word "communis",
meaning to share. Communication requires a sender, a message,
and an intended recipient, although the receiver need not be present or aware
of the sender's intent to communicate at the time of communication; thus
communication can occur across vast distances in time and space. Communication
requires that the communicating parties share an area of communicative
commonality. The communication process is complete once the receiver has
understood the message of the sender. Feedback is critical to effective
communication between parties. Verbal communication can also employ visual aids
and non-verbal elements to support the conveyance of meaning. Oral
communication includes speeches, presentations, discussions, and aspects of
interpersonal communication. As a type of face-to-face communication, body
language and choice tonality play a significant role, and may
have a greater impact upon the listener than informational content. This type
of communication also garners immediate feedback.
WRITTEN COMMUNICATION AND ITS HISTORICAL DEVELOPMENT
Over
time the forms of and ideas about communication have evolved through
progression of technology. Advances include communications psychology and media
psychology; an emerging field of study. Researchers divide the progression of
written communication into three revolutionary stages called "Information
Communication Revolutions".
During
the first stage, written communication first emerged through the use of
pictographs. The pictograms were made in stone, hence written communication was
not yet mobile.
During
the second stage, writing began to appear on paper, clay, wax, etc. Common
alphabets were introduced and allowed for the uniformity of language across
large distances.
The third stage is characterized
by the transfer of information through controlled waves and electronic signals.
Communication
is thus a process by which meaning is assigned and conveyed in an attempt to
create shared understanding. Misunderstandings can be anticipated and solved
through formulations, questions and answers, paraphrasing, examples, and stories
of strategic talk. Written communication can be clear by planning follow-up
talk on critical written communication as part of the normal way of doing
business. Minutes spent talking now will save time later having to clear up
misunderstandings later on.
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
Effective
conversation (communication) is a conversation in which no one gets confused by
the other person's meaning.
When people (both the speaker or the listener) don't use proper communication
skills, the other person can be unsure of the speaker's meaning. There can be
many reasons for not understanding their meaning.
FUNCTIONS OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
Effective communication takes thought. Individuals have to
go beyond knowing the information they want to convey, and take steps towards
figuring out how they can present that information to others in a way they can
best understand. Differences in spoken languages can be used to demonstrate
this idea. If individuals do not speak the same language it is difficult for
them to understand one another because they can't communicate through verbal or
written methods. They have to find alternative routes to convey the information
they wish to share. This may involve gestures, pointing objects out, or drawing
pictures. They will use whatever means they have to try to clearly define what
they are trying to communicate.
FEATURES OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
Listening is a fundamental step in effective communication.
If there is one person trying to convey information, the other party has to be
receptive to what is being expressed. This does not mean the person has to
agree, but rather, he should at least try to understand. When communication
involves the exchange of ideas among two or more people, each person involved
needs to listen to and understand what the other party is trying to
communicate. If there isn't listening among all parties involved, each person
will just be expressing himself in vain
There
are basically two parts to communication. They are listening and speaking.
Keys to developing proper listening
habits.
·
Focus on what is being said rather than how
what is about to be say.
·
Focus on the way it is being said (tone of
voice, posture, etc) rather than the words only.
·
Focus on understanding rather than judgment.
·
Focus on clarification of valid points rather
than defense of incorrect accusation.
Keys to developing good speaking habits.
·
Determine what you want to say.
·
Determine how you want to say it.
·
Determine when you want to say it.
CHARACTERISTICS
OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
The
real meaning of communication is getting the receiver and the sender tuned
together for a particular message. Communication takes place when one person
transfers some understandable data to another person. It also includes the
exchange of thoughts, opinions, sentiments, facts, and information between two
or more persons. Feedback is very important as it assures that your message
should be properly conveyed to the receiver. How a person speaks impacts how
others perceive that person professionally and personally. It is important to
practice effective communication skills, particularly in martial situations and
settings. Couples who know how to communicate effectively can make a good
family.
Your Voice
Speak
clearly. When speaking, ensure words are being enunciated and spoken clearly.
If others are always asking someone to repeat what he said, it is likely that
he is not speaking clearly or loud enough. Avoid yelling or raising your voice
at others. Some tend to yell when they are especially passionate about an issue
or trying to get a point across. When emotions are running high, it is best to
postpone important conversations if possible. People are more likely to say
things they will later regret when they are said out of anger. Take a minute to
cool off and then resume the conversation when composure has been regained.
Your Conversation
Do
not interrupt when others are speaking. It is rude to interrupt another person
when he is speaking. If you must say something, make a mental or quick written
note and speak when the person has finished speaking. Listen intently when the others
spouse is speaking. To carry on a conversation and be an effective
communicator, everyone involved in the communication must be a good listener.
Your Words
When
speaking it is important to always use proper English and grammar. Avoid any
slang words, including any curse words that would lend to an unprofessional
image in the family. Always tell the truth when you are communicating with your
spouse. It is important to always be honest in all dealings. Not only will it
be easier when the truth is always told, it improves the relationship with your
spouse. When a negative confrontation is necessary, start and end the
conversation on a positive note. This can avoid the person feeling bombarded
and overwhelmed when the negative news is mixed with positive news.
INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP
An intimate relationship is a
particularly close interpersonal relationship
that involves physical or emotional intimacy.
Physical intimacy is characterized by romantic or passionate love and
attachment, or sexual
activity. The term is also sometimes used euphemistically for a sexual relationship. Intimate
relationships play a central role in the overall human experience. Humans have
a general desire to belong and to love which is usually satisfied within an
intimate relationship. Intimate relationships involve the physical and sexual
attraction by one person to another, liking and loving, romantic
feelings and sexual relationships, as
well as the seeking of a mate and emotional and personal support from. Intimate
relationships provide people with a social network of people that provide
strong emotional attachments and fulfill our
universal need of belonging and the need to be cared for.
PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
Love is
an important factor in physical and emotional intimate relationships. Love is
qualitatively and quantitatively different to liking,
and the difference is not merely in the presence or absence of sexual
attraction. There are two types of love in a relationship; passionate
love
and companionate love.
Companionate love involves diminished potent feelings of attachment, an
authentic and enduring bond, a sense of mutual commitment, the profound feeling
of mutual caring, feeling proud of a mate's accomplishment, and the
satisfaction that comes from sharing goals and perspective. In contrast,
passionate love is marked by infatuation, intense preoccupation with the
partner, throes of ecstasy, and feelings of exhilaration that come from being
reunited with the partner.
People
who are in an intimate relationship with one another are often called a couple,
especially if the members of that couple have ascribed some degree of
permanency to their relationship. Such couples often provide the emotional
security that is necessary for them to accomplish other tasks, particularly
forms of labor or work.
TYPES OF INTIMACY
- Emotional: Sharing feelings – not just the surface or easy stuff, but all of your feelings (the good, the bad, and the ugly).
- Intellectual: Sharing your thoughts and ideas.
- Aesthetic: Enjoying together things of beauty – art, nature, music and so on.
- Creative: Being creative together, be it doing the same thing or different parts of a larger project.
- Recreational: Playing together, from a pillow fight to walking together to serious working out together.
- Work: Doing “work” type things together – for your family, your church, your community. Building and maintaining something important, and doing that together.
- Spiritual: A common walk with the Lord – each of you being yourself, but walking as three.
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION AND INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP AMONG
YOUNG COUPLES IN CALABAR MUNICIPALITY.
Effective communication is a communication in which
no one get confused by the other person’s meaning. When people (both the
speaker or the listener) do not use proper communication skills, the other
person can be unsure of the speaker’s meaning.
Also,
intimate relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship that
involves physical or emotional intimacy. Physical intimacy is characterized by
romantic or passionate love and attachment, or sexual activity. The term is
also sometimes used euphemistically for a sexual relationship. Intimate
relationships play a central role in the overall human experience. Humans have
a general desire to belong and to love which is usually satisfied within an
intimate relationship.
Young
couples in Calabar municipality communicate effectively and enjoys a great deal
of security in their intimate relationships. According to the findings carried
out, it could be seen that couples in Calabar municipality rarely get divorced.
Effective communication among young couples in Calabar municipality has been
the reason for a successful intimate relationship. Before a young man and a
young woman come together, the elderly people in the family would let them
understand that they are two different people from two different background who
has also gone through different up bringing, therefore in order for them to be compatible
they must adopt to each other without discriminating. By tracing the root and
underlying causes of differences and incompatibility among young couples and
giving an insight as to how various beliefs and personal experiences work
dynamically to create these differences.
Calabar
municipality is made up of the Qua (that is Big Quas) and the Akim. And they
happen to speak the same language. Marriage right from the time of old among
this people was always been blissful as they most often marry within their
domain and rarely inter-marry.
Therefore
language barrier which sometimes plays a dangerous role in intimate
relationships in other tribes could hardly be experienced among young couples
in Calabar municipality. Another important thing which is as a result of
effective communication understands among them. Understanding in the sense that
they are able to settle their differences therefore very limited records of
divorce.
Consequently,
young couples in calabar municipality tend to grow old together, not that they
do not lose their souse to death. But not frequently, because a lot of death
situations among spouses are always as a result of mismanagement of intimate
relationship.
CONCLUSION
The need to understand the differences in communication is
vital for an efficient communication and quality of an intimate relationship.
Because communication is vital, understanding the differences between the
male-perception and female-perception with regards to communication is crucial
to lessen the chances of miscommunication. Learning to decode when a man is
being direct or when a woman is sending Meta messages could also improve the
quality of the relationship because this would assure that the needs of both
parties are being communicated effectively.
REFERENCES
Tannen,
Deborah. Talk in the Intimate Relationship: His and Hers. 31 March
2006.
4 October 2010
Schwartz,
M., Bennett, W. R., & Stein, S. (1996). Communication systems and
Techniques. New York: IEEE Press.
Clow, Kenneth E.; Baack,
Donald (2007) Effective Communications 3rd edition.
Foucault, Michel, Power/Knowledge, Pantheon Books, New
York, 1980.
McCornack,
Steven. Reflect & Relate, an
introduction to Interpersonal
Rosch
E.; Reply of Logtus. Journal of Experimental psychology, general vol;
104:
no. 3, September 1975, pp 241-243.
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