Tuesday 10 July 2012


Communication is the activity of conveying information. Communication has been derived from the Latin word "communis", meaning to share. Communication requires a sender, a message, and an intended recipient, although the receiver need not be present or aware of the sender's intent to communicate at the time of communication; thus communication can occur across vast distances in time and space. Communication requires that the communicating parties share an area of communicative commonality. The communication process is complete once the receiver has understood the message of the sender. Feedback is critical to effective communication between parties. Verbal communication can also employ visual aids and non-verbal elements to support the conveyance of meaning. Oral communication includes speeches, presentations, discussions, and aspects of interpersonal communication. As a type of face-to-face communication, body language and choice tonality play a significant role, and may have a greater impact upon the listener than informational content. This type of communication also garners immediate feedback.





Over time the forms of and ideas about communication have evolved through progression of technology. Advances include communications psychology and media psychology; an emerging field of study. Researchers divide the progression of written communication into three revolutionary stages called "Information Communication Revolutions".
During the first stage, written communication first emerged through the use of pictographs. The pictograms were made in stone, hence written communication was not yet mobile.
During the second stage, writing began to appear on paper, clay, wax, etc. Common alphabets were introduced and allowed for the uniformity of language across large distances.
The third stage is characterized by the transfer of information through controlled waves and electronic signals.
Communication is thus a process by which meaning is assigned and conveyed in an attempt to create shared understanding. Misunderstandings can be anticipated and solved through formulations, questions and answers, paraphrasing, examples, and stories of strategic talk. Written communication can be clear by planning follow-up talk on critical written communication as part of the normal way of doing business. Minutes spent talking now will save time later having to clear up misunderstandings later on.

Effective conversation (communication) is a conversation in which no one gets confused by the other person's meaning. When people (both the speaker or the listener) don't use proper communication skills, the other person can be unsure of the speaker's meaning. There can be many reasons for not understanding their meaning.

Effective communication takes thought. Individuals have to go beyond knowing the information they want to convey, and take steps towards figuring out how they can present that information to others in a way they can best understand. Differences in spoken languages can be used to demonstrate this idea. If individuals do not speak the same language it is difficult for them to understand one another because they can't communicate through verbal or written methods. They have to find alternative routes to convey the information they wish to share. This may involve gestures, pointing objects out, or drawing pictures. They will use whatever means they have to try to clearly define what they are trying to communicate.

Listening is a fundamental step in effective communication. If there is one person trying to convey information, the other party has to be receptive to what is being expressed. This does not mean the person has to agree, but rather, he should at least try to understand. When communication involves the exchange of ideas among two or more people, each person involved needs to listen to and understand what the other party is trying to communicate. If there isn't listening among all parties involved, each person will just be expressing himself in vain
There are basically two parts to communication. They are listening and speaking.
Keys to developing proper listening habits.
·         Focus on what is being said rather than how what is about to be say.
·         Focus on the way it is being said (tone of voice, posture, etc) rather than the words only.
·         Focus on understanding rather than judgment.
·         Focus on clarification of valid points rather than defense of incorrect accusation.
Keys to developing good speaking habits.
·         Determine what you want to say.
·         Determine how you want to say it.
·          Determine when you want to say it.

The real meaning of communication is getting the receiver and the sender tuned together for a particular message. Communication takes place when one person transfers some understandable data to another person. It also includes the exchange of thoughts, opinions, sentiments, facts, and information between two or more persons. Feedback is very important as it assures that your message should be properly conveyed to the receiver. How a person speaks impacts how others perceive that person professionally and personally. It is important to practice effective communication skills, particularly in martial situations and settings. Couples who know how to communicate effectively can make a good family.



Your Voice

Speak clearly. When speaking, ensure words are being enunciated and spoken clearly. If others are always asking someone to repeat what he said, it is likely that he is not speaking clearly or loud enough. Avoid yelling or raising your voice at others. Some tend to yell when they are especially passionate about an issue or trying to get a point across. When emotions are running high, it is best to postpone important conversations if possible. People are more likely to say things they will later regret when they are said out of anger. Take a minute to cool off and then resume the conversation when composure has been regained.

Your Conversation

Do not interrupt when others are speaking. It is rude to interrupt another person when he is speaking. If you must say something, make a mental or quick written note and speak when the person has finished speaking. Listen intently when the others spouse is speaking. To carry on a conversation and be an effective communicator, everyone involved in the communication must be a good listener.

Your Words

When speaking it is important to always use proper English and grammar. Avoid any slang words, including any curse words that would lend to an unprofessional image in the family. Always tell the truth when you are communicating with your spouse. It is important to always be honest in all dealings. Not only will it be easier when the truth is always told, it improves the relationship with your spouse. When a negative confrontation is necessary, start and end the conversation on a positive note. This can avoid the person feeling bombarded and overwhelmed when the negative news is mixed with positive news.

An intimate relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. Physical intimacy is characterized by romantic or passionate love and attachment, or sexual activity. The term is also sometimes used euphemistically for a sexual relationship. Intimate relationships play a central role in the overall human experience. Humans have a general desire to belong and to love which is usually satisfied within an intimate relationship. Intimate relationships involve the physical and sexual attraction by one person to another, liking and loving, romantic feelings and sexual relationships, as well as the seeking of a mate and emotional and personal support from. Intimate relationships provide people with a social network of people that provide strong emotional attachments and fulfill our universal need of belonging and the need to be cared for.



Love is an important factor in physical and emotional intimate relationships. Love is qualitatively and quantitatively different to liking, and the difference is not merely in the presence or absence of sexual attraction. There are two types of love in a relationship; passionate love and companionate love. Companionate love involves diminished potent feelings of attachment, an authentic and enduring bond, a sense of mutual commitment, the profound feeling of mutual caring, feeling proud of a mate's accomplishment, and the satisfaction that comes from sharing goals and perspective. In contrast, passionate love is marked by infatuation, intense preoccupation with the partner, throes of ecstasy, and feelings of exhilaration that come from being reunited with the partner.
People who are in an intimate relationship with one another are often called a couple, especially if the members of that couple have ascribed some degree of permanency to their relationship. Such couples often provide the emotional security that is necessary for them to accomplish other tasks, particularly forms of labor or work.
  • Emotional: Sharing feelings – not just the surface or easy stuff,  but all of your feelings (the good, the bad, and the ugly).
  • Intellectual: Sharing your thoughts and ideas.
  • Aesthetic: Enjoying together things of beauty – art, nature, music and so on.
  • Creative: Being creative together, be it doing the same thing or different parts of a larger project.
  • Recreational: Playing together, from a pillow fight to walking together to serious working out together.
  • Work: Doing “work” type things together – for your family, your church, your community.  Building and maintaining something important, and doing that together.
  • Spiritual: A common walk with the Lord – each of you being yourself, but walking as three.

Effective communication is a communication in which no one get confused by the other person’s meaning. When people (both the speaker or the listener) do not use proper communication skills, the other person can be unsure of the speaker’s meaning.
          Also, intimate relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. Physical intimacy is characterized by romantic or passionate love and attachment, or sexual activity. The term is also sometimes used euphemistically for a sexual relationship. Intimate relationships play a central role in the overall human experience. Humans have a general desire to belong and to love which is usually satisfied within an intimate relationship.
          Young couples in Calabar municipality communicate effectively and enjoys a great deal of security in their intimate relationships. According to the findings carried out, it could be seen that couples in Calabar municipality rarely get divorced. Effective communication among young couples in Calabar municipality has been the reason for a successful intimate relationship. Before a young man and a young woman come together, the elderly people in the family would let them understand that they are two different people from two different background who has also gone through different up bringing, therefore in order for them to be compatible they must adopt to each other without discriminating. By tracing the root and underlying causes of differences and incompatibility among young couples and giving an insight as to how various beliefs and personal experiences work dynamically to create these differences.
          Calabar municipality is made up of the Qua (that is Big Quas) and the Akim. And they happen to speak the same language. Marriage right from the time of old among this people was always been blissful as they most often marry within their domain and rarely inter-marry.
          Therefore language barrier which sometimes plays a dangerous role in intimate relationships in other tribes could hardly be experienced among young couples in Calabar municipality. Another important thing which is as a result of effective communication understands among them. Understanding in the sense that they are able to settle their differences therefore very limited records of divorce.
          Consequently, young couples in calabar municipality tend to grow old together, not that they do not lose their souse to death. But not frequently, because a lot of death situations among spouses are always as a result of mismanagement of intimate relationship.

The need to understand the differences in communication is vital for an efficient communication and quality of an intimate relationship. Because communication is vital, understanding the differences between the male-perception and female-perception with regards to communication is crucial to lessen the chances of miscommunication. Learning to decode when a man is being direct or when a woman is sending Meta messages could also improve the quality of the relationship because this would assure that the needs of both parties are being communicated effectively.

Tannen, Deborah. Talk in the Intimate Relationship: His and Hers. 31 March
2006. 4 October 2010
Schwartz, M., Bennett, W. R., & Stein, S. (1996). Communication systems and
Techniques. New York: IEEE Press.
Clow, Kenneth E.; Baack, Donald (2007) Effective Communications 3rd edition.
Pearson Education. pp. 165-171. ISBN 0131866222.
Foucault, Michel, Power/Knowledge, Pantheon Books, New
York, 1980.
McCornack, Steven. Reflect & Relate, an introduction to Interpersonal
Communication. boston/NY: Bedford/St. Martin's. pp. 291. ISBN 0-312-48934-X.
Rosch E.; Reply of Logtus. Journal of Experimental psychology, general vol;
104: no. 3, September 1975, pp 241-243.

No comments:

Post a Comment